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[11 Nov 2007|09:14pm]


[19 Sep 2006|10:12pm]
So yeah, I've been shitty about not posting a good-bye entry, so here it is...

I've been on LJ for just over 4 years, and it's helped me through the toughest times in my life... I just don't need it anymore. I'm spending more time focusing on school and finding a job and normal having-a-life things.

So while things aren't good around here, I think I'm finally over all of the shit that's been going on since I first started LJ.

And to the handful of people who I totally and completely owe my life to:
you know who you are, love and kisses.

I still keep up on Dugera happenings, so keep writing, yo. XD

[03 Jul 2006|12:33am]
[mood | Image hosting by Photobucket yum, peanut butter]
[music | TV ]

I spent most of today sniffing inscence at the dollar store and sitting on the floor of Ben's living room. And I tivo'd Dazed And Confused tonight!
...is it possible to be a stoner and not smoke pot? XD

I typed up a long entry this morning, but it just made me sound immature and angsty. I'm going to focus on the positive, okay?

Summer needs to be over. I like seeing people every day.

P.S. (mainly for Shmurf)
My neck is oozing. Is that bad?

hehe... goat.

[01 Jul 2006|12:19pm]
Because I haven't put up a youtube link in FORVER...
Sonny is terrifying koala (scariest infestation EVER) and I kinda want to make sweet, sweet love to Jono's hair.
Yay, Girl/Boy song!

This was the straw that broke the camel's back. [01 Jul 2006|11:12am]
[mood | Image hosting by Photobucket crying]
[music | Rancid ♥ "Time Bomb" ]

Another fucking day of sitting at home being pissed off at my mother. This is bullshit.
It would be so much better if we lived in town where I could walk around and just see people.

I'm kind of freaking out about things right now. I haven't heard from my dad since the day before Father's day, Storm might have to get another surgery done on his back, and I'm not even going to get started on Shmurf.

I accidentally took my mom's seroquel last night instead of the medicine I'm supposed to be taking and I slept from 8 last night to 10 this morning. I feel like shit because Shmurf's been trying to talk to me all day and I haven't wanted to talk on the phone. She's going to Ben's today anyways, so whatever.

Yesterday was pretty awesome. I did a lot of sewing and drawin g and I took some pictures of everything. I'll post them later. I'm currently not speaking to my mother and my camera's upstairs.

I'll start commenting again in a few days.
For now, I'm going to try to chill out.

Can anyone tell me if my icon is spelled right? I don't know Finnish at all, but some of you do.

[28 Jun 2006|01:28pm]
The internet hates me and will load everything except LJ pages. My last entry took me like 8 tries to do, and it pretty much refuses to let me check my flist.

So I guess I'll be gone untill the internet decides to stop being a whore.

Maybe this means I need to get off my lazy ass and clean my room?

The internet hates me. >:U [27 Jun 2006|09:31pm]
[mood | Image hosting by Photobucket hot]
[music | Rancid ♥ "Ruby Soho" ]

I made pretzels from scratch and they're yummy.

Today's my mom's birthday. Woot.

I've been drawing random comics on Hunter's magnadoodle, except no one in my family gets them, because it's mostly poking fun at the scene. I'm thinking about putting them on paper and starting a webcomic (cuz, y'know... all the cool kids are doing it these days).

picturesCollapse )

the longest survey in the history of everCollapse )

THIS SONG > YOU. [26 Jun 2006|03:45pm]
[mood | Image hosting by Photobucket cold]
[music | Rancid - "Junkie Man"]

Peetah's blogging is getting crazy. I've said it a million times, but he writes what I need to hear.

I just got back from my appointment. I'm on depression medication now, and I go back in 3 weeks to get put on meds for anxiety. I don't really want to be on medication but fuck am I tired of feeling like this. She mostly just asked about family history and I took a fill-in-the-bubbles standard "crazy person test". I told her my dad's schitzophrenic, so she aksed me a million times if I heard voices or had hallicunations (I don't). The first thing she said when she saw me was that I look like a very artistic person, and that's always nice to hear. A bathroom got myseriously VWT'd today... gee... I don't know who could have done it... :shifty eyes:

Shmurf went home today. Saturday we went to the mall and molested a cardboard Johnny Depp. Shmurf totally touched the monkey button and we saw a book called "Jesus Christ" and she yelled "OH MY GOD, JESUS CHRIST". We joked about moving the bibles to the Religious Fiction section. Come to think of it, I'm surprised we didn't get kicked out.

We had a lot of fun at the mall with Benface when he got there, and I spent almost all of my money on pretty clothes that were on sale.

That night we played in the rain and named the kittens Fleedly-Dop-Dop and Fleedly-Doo, because we're cool like that. And we stayed up late talking about things that needed to be said and we realized that the two of us are too fucked up in the head to not keep each other up-to-date with what's going on.

Yesterday we played in the hose and found a teeny-tiny little toad that we named Jorje. I tried and failed at making a VWT shirt, but at least we had fun. We watched "The Hills Have Eyes" and got really pissed that they didn't eat the damn baby. And I lasso'd Shmurf's toe.

Even though this post was mainly for the pictures of this weekend, and I just uploaded them, I'm not gonna post them yet. Later, for sure.

stolen surveyCollapse )
survey number twoCollapse )

[24 Jun 2006|12:13am]
[mood | Image hosting by Photobucket hyper]
[music | Green Day - "Platypus (Worry Rock)"]

Much love to Zoe for kicking ass and sending me music all of the time. I love her to death.

I'm loving VWT extra lately. I don't know why, but the LOLZ have been super good.

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your livejournal along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they're listening to.
(damn, all of "Louder Now" won't fit)

In no particular order
1. "Twenty Twenty Surgery" - Taking Back Sunday
2. "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out" - Fall Out Boy
3. "It's Cool, We Can Still Be Friends" - Bright Eyes
4. "Let's Get It On" - Patrick Stump :melt:
5. "Ape Dos Mil" - Glassjaw
6. "You Can't Con An Honest John" - The Streets
7. "Gummi Bears" - Suburban Legends
(there are a million more)


Look at my LJ interests. Pick 5 that you find confusing or intriguing, and comment here. I'll explain what it means and what makes it significant to me.
Then, if you want, please post this in your own LJ, if you'd be so kind, so that I can learn about your interests.

(I took out all of my interests except for the super-unique ones awhile ago)

[23 Jun 2006|05:59pm]
[mood | Image hosting by Photobucket allergic]
[music | Bright Eyes ]

collage, makeup, and flea market loveCollapse )

memeCollapse )

The razor bling necklace I want so damn bad is back on clandestine for sale and I have enough money for it!
I'm SO buying it if my shopping plans for this weekend fall through.
If I end up spending this money, I'll just save up for a few weeks till I can buy it.
I need it.

[23 Jun 2006|12:05pm]
[mood | Image hosting by Photobucket hungry]
[music | The Pink Spiders ♥ "Lovers Into Ghosts"]

I feel like a dork because Pete's last blogspot entry made me cry.
Not the whole middle/ring finger debate, he just has a tendency t o write the things I need to hear.
I still have all of ohoneohone saved on my computer except for the friends only entries.

Therapy appointment today, shopping and Storm's birthday tomorrow, chilling on sunday, I get put on medication on monday, and tuesday is my mom's birthday.
I am so not ready for this week.

I was up till 3, but my collage is finally finished and I'm really proud of this one. Pictures/explination later.

[22 Jun 2006|03:26pm]
[mood | Image hosting by Photobucket oof]
[music | The Starting Line ♥ "Bedroom Talk"]

This post is mainly to declare that I fell flat on my ass just now.
You'd think I'd get the hang of walking one of these days, but I guess not...

I kinda feel like I've sold my soul to the devil because I'm cleaning up the mess of people I hate for $50. But in all honetsy, I'd def. sell my soul for a nice pair of shoes (but they'd have to be really nice shoes).

Oh well, it's ten times easier than I expected.

So yeah... this post sucks. I'm jsut trying to kill time.

surveyCollapse )

"Jumping to conclusions made me fall away from you" [21 Jun 2006|08:51pm]
[mood | Image hosting by Photobucket w00t, yo]
[music | The Starting Line ♥ "Best Of Me" (acoustic) ]

This weekend has a new plan!
I've been stuck at home forever, so I'm happy to get out and have some damn fun.

I'm cleaning the kitchen for $50 (it sounds like a lot, but my kitchen is fucking disgusting) because there's a bunch of stuff on sale at the mall.

It's more of an attempt to get away from my family than to get some clothes, but the cash is definately a perk.

I am so in love with The Starting Line. I gave my copy of "Say It Like You Mean It" to someone, and now I'm beginning to regret it. This song is so good.

Dear weather, MY SINUSES HATE YOU! kthnxdie [21 Jun 2006|04:26pm]
[mood | Image hosting by Photobucket tylenol can kiss my ass]
[music | Bright Eyes ♥ "It's Cool, We Can Still Be Friends" ]

I don't know how I managed to sleep till noon with the boys awake, but I feel 90 times better now.

I know people are always saying that sXe kids are arrogant and shit like that, but I do love how my friends and I can have the best time ever without any of that shit to bring us down. I mean, we don't do the most legal things ever, but we stay away from the whole drinking/drugs/smoking thing.
Outside of my really close group of friends, almost all of my friends are stoners. But I gues the only time I ever really hung out with them was during class and in the mornings by everyone's locker.

I have fallen in love with the Clandestine buzznet. Sometimes it's funny because of the ego and the fact that Dirty is the greatest person in the world. But sometimes it kinda gets to me because Peetuh has a way of hitting too close to home sometimes.

Cookies to whoever can find "100% Green Day" on youtube. fortheloveofpie was looking for it, and now I want to find it so I can show everyone where my username came from.

Have you ever noticed that in some of the interviews, it looks as if they've sat Tre down beforehand and told him to mind his manners? It's hilarious, because you can see where he wants to be crazy, but then he kinda bites his tongue and just sits there looking like a kid with ADD.

dammit, I get distracted on youtube. Here"s another big dump of stuff. There"s a million more in my memories for whoever wants themCollapse )

"Start Today" by Gorilla Biscuits pretty much sums it all up...Collapse )

[21 Jun 2006|07:36am]
[mood | Image hosting by Photobucket Z?]
[music | Nirvana ♥ "Negative Creep" ]

My first fic out of 19 is up! It took me an hour (which is a long time for me) even though it went really smoothly and I used a lot of stuff that's been bouncing around in my head for a long time.

I woke up after 2 and a half hours of sleep with the image of Dico trying to train a dog to say "Ching-ching" and it refused to let me go back to sleep untill I fic'd it. Oh well, I'll just take a nap later.

Would someone happen to have "Object of My Affection" by so_pseudogoth PAST chapter 8?
I was up until my eyes got droopy looking for chapter 9+, so if you have it in your memories, I'd really appreciate a link. It's my all-time favorite AU.

And so this isn't completely slash, here's Brand New playing "Guernica", a good song and a kickass painting. w00t, Picasso
BN is one of those bands that I would hack my left arm off to go see (and I only have one left arm, so let's hope that the opportunity only ever rises once).

I'm gon' to bed, bitches. I'll see you all... later.

p.s. I totally love Rachel for the shoutout to me in her lj!

With the exception of the Fall Out Boy ones, stick-person parodies usually aren't funny. This parody of "The Quiet Things that No One Ever Knows" isn't really funny, but the end is hilarious.

I cannot motherfucking TYPE today... [20 Jun 2006|07:15pm]
"Name ten of life's simple pleasures that you like most, and then pick ten people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not to use things that someone else has already used. "

[In no particular order]
-- Finishing a good book
-- Doing normal things like running errands with my family
-- Listening to MSI or P!ATD really loud and dancing around all crazy-like
-- Getting crazy with my friends
-- Getting packages in the mail
-- When someone else does the dishes
-- Shopping for clothes/CDs
-- Curling up on the floor with my doggies
-- Drinking hot cocoa and staying up all night for a jackass-athon

I tag everyone who hasn't done this yet, because it's all over my flist

Things I need to buy
-- Letter beads
-- New Sketchbook
-- MCR ~ "Life On The Murder Scene"
-- All the Bright Eyes CDs I don't have (eventually)
-- The Starting Line ~ "Based On A True Story"
-- The Punk Goes Pop cd because it's hilarious
-- CIWWAF ~ "The Same Old Blood Rush With A New Touch" (I listened to some of the songs (instead of just demos) and god, I love them. Shmurf is going to be so annoyed after I buy this cd and play it everywhere.)

Garrr... there's more but I can't remember...

You're so sensitive. I am, I am a machine [20 Jun 2006|02:49pm]
[mood | Image hosting by Photobucket shitty]
[music | Mustard Plug ♥ "Brain On Ska" ]

I can't help but feel like
a weapon, a toy, and a pawn
Used for your entertainment.

Yours is the only name I don't mention here ______.

I'm up too late to wish on you at 11:11
(or maybe I just don't care)

Woah, I ended up with 19 fic requests.
I don't really feel like writing lately because I'm in super-angst-mode, but I'll be bored all next week and I'm always up all night, so it's cool.

Taking Back Sunday's "Louder Now" is amazing. I downloaded a few songs before I bought the album, but it was probably the best album I've heard so far this year. I've always loved how the vocals call back and forth and then they put them on top of the instruments to make something beautiful. I heard "MakeDamnSure" on Mikey Way's Myspace a long time ago, and a million times since then, but I'm still not tired of it. "Divine Intervention" is super-quiet, but I love it, and "Twenty Twenty Surgery" is my favorite (but they're all good). As always, the lyrics have a weird way of getting to me.

Has anyone heard anything about Brand New's new cd? I've been waiting sooooo long for it.

I'm still really good at mixing up dreams and reality.
I'll dream something happened or somebody said something to piss me off, and then I'll be pissed at them in real life because of it.
Grrr. I worry me.

I dreamt that Bam_ryan_otp got a cease-and-desist letter (because all it takes is one and then we're shut down forever) and I woke up in a bad mood...

Because I update with a youtube video pretty much every day...
It's the Bloodhound Gang playing "Uhn Tiss, Uhn Tiss, Uhn Tiss" live for some MTV thing. Jimmy Pop's voice sounds really good on it (It must be the BSB shirt and scarf he's wearing), and there is much adorable ass-shaking and Evil Jared is always hardcore.

these pictures from last night kinda suck, but we did have funCollapse )

[19 Jun 2006|11:45pm]
[mood | Image hosting by Photobucket life hurts]
[music | TBS ♥ "Error: Operator" ]

I think I realized today that I can't really go to Shmurf with my problems anymore. I don't know why really... I just can't.
And that kinda hurts.

A good time was had tonight anyways.
Shmurf's grandma is the nicest lady ever and her grampa loves hockey, so he's automatically cool.
Ben came out too and we fucked around and took a million pictures that I'll post tomorrow when I'm not half-dead.

"Louder Now" (Taking Back Sunday) came in the mail today, because the mailman knew that if he didn't bring it that I was going to kick his fucking teeth in. It's amazing, I'll write more tomorrow after I've listened to it all the way through.

This song has awesome memories [19 Jun 2006|03:02pm]
[mood | Image hosting by Photobucket bitter]
[music | Manson ♥ "This Is The New Shit" ]

School's been out for almost 2 weeks and I haven't seen my friends since then. I'm beginning to crack from the pressure of being home all the time like this.
My third straight day of sitting around in my pajamas wishing there was something better to do than watch pretty boys hurt themselves on tape for a living and listen to xmas music in June.

Hunter was watching RTB with me, the part where Chavez gets the broken heart tattoo, and he looked so disgusted and told me "I'm leaving. Dad's not home, but I know I'm not supposed to see butts". I love that kid.
What's the talk about RTB2? I know Pete's been joking about it, and I'm loving the thought of more Bedussy/Bad Twin (Bedussy/Bad Twin slash would be hot)

Cute Is What We Aim For's cd comes out tomorrow! You should buy it.
I started listening to them a few days before Pete signed them to Decaydance, and Ben makes fun of me for loving them (Shaant makes me happy in the pants). I'll probably get the cd with whatever cash I have after I buy a new sketchbook and some beads.

"One awkward silence
And two hopes you cry yourself to sleep
Staying up, waiting by the phone
And all I want this year is for you
to dedicate your last breath to me
Before you bury yourself alive"


The telephone was the worst invention ever. [19 Jun 2006|12:54pm]
[mood | Image hosting by Photobucket i hurt]
[music | Showbread ♥ "Dead By Dawn" ]

I need some way to pass the days, so...
The first ten people to give me the following will get a Dugera fic written for them
-- NOUN (person, place, or thing)

Getting up at noon screws with my day.

This song gives me chills.

I was up all night freaking out. And then I drank some hot chocolate and watched Jackass, so it's all good/gay.

I can tell it's worrying my mother that it doesn't look like all this drama with my dad are affecting me at all. They are, really bad. But I internalize things. That's just who I am. The closest I ever get to telling anything to anyone is this journal and this isn't even the half of it.

Sorry for the randomness, I'm not awake enough yet.

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